When your relationship takes a turn towards the more intimate, how can you tell if your man is just using you for sex or if he is genuinely committed to a real partnership? Here are some easy to spot signs he loves you when making love:
There is plenty of foreplay. If a man is just after a quick release, he will only be concerned about himself and there will not be very much in the way of slow, teasing build-up.
He might not be worrying about whether you are having a good time, or even if you are ready for him. A real partner will take the time to make sure that you are having a good time too, even if it means that he has to wait a while.
He Might Be Anxious!
He might even become more anxious, before, during and after sex. Before you become a real couple, he might have just treated sex as an urge to be satisfied, but now he is genuinely attracted to you, this might have all changed.
Therefore, it is normal for him to become a little worried that he is still pleasing you: wanting to be sure that you are as happy in the relationship as he is.
Kissing during sex is a very intimate act, perhaps even more intimate than the intercourse itself. If he stops kissing you, or, worse, starts to favour positions that distance him away from intimacy and getting up close and personal, that might be a sign that things are not as good as they should be.
A considerate lover will ask what you like in bed and will give it a go. The manner of his asking is important too: language should be geared at your mutual enjoyment not his pleasure in demeaning or degrading you.
Choose someone who delights in you and your body, who praises you, asks if you like something and listens to your response (verbal and otherwise!) and generally makes sure that you are enthusiastic and enjoying yourself from start to finish.
If he makes eye contact with you, that means that he is looking at you, and not imagining someone else in your place. This is one of the best signs he loves you when making love. Behaviour to watch out for are positions where he cannot see your face, constantly burying his face in your neck or hair, and never looking at your face during the act.
Behaviour After Sex
But it is not just during the course of sex that his behaviour can give him away. How he behaves after afterwards can give perhaps the strongest indications as to whether you have a problem or not.
If he pulls you close afterwards, and is content to cuddle for a long time, perhaps even falling asleep while you are cuddling, this is a very positive sign. Falling asleep in your arms is an immense sign of trust and a very good indicator that his feelings are genuine.
Pulling away, rushing off to shower, hastening to dress and perhaps leave – these can all be taken as signs of a lack of real commitment to a relationship with you. A disclaimer: if he has to rush home to prepare for work or has important commitments, this behaviour is not necessarily a sign of disengagement!
He Has No Expectation of Intercourse
Another very good sign that he cares deeply for you and is not just using you for sex is if he is content to spend time with you without it inevitably leading to sex.
Being able to go on a date, or even just watch television without an expectation that intercourse will definitely happen soon is one of the best signs of a solid, committed partnership that is rooted in emotion and love rather than physical urges and desires.
Having said all of this, everyone is different and some people might be shy, particularly fussy, or have other reasons for acting out some of the above negative responses. Always listen to your heart: if you feel as though he is acting a part to get something he wants, you are most likely to be right, whereas if you feel loved and cherished, then you probably are! When in doubt, it might be time for an honest conversation to clear the air!