Being broken up with is hard enough. Being broken up with over text can be devastating. You have stared at it for a few minutes until the truth sank in: now what? What’s the best way how to respond to a break up over text?

The problem with texts is that they can arrive at any time of day or night and you could be happily enjoying downtime with your friends only to have a break-up text arrive.

Why Would Somebody Break Up Over Text?

Whatever the reason for the break up, people might choose to do it by text or email because they are unable to face their partner.

They might need the break up for a reason, but they feel unable to resist your charms in person, or unable to be hurt you to your face. So the sting of a text break-up might be rooted in cowardice, reasons of uncertainty or misplaced kindness.

Initial Reactions

Your first reaction will probably be hurt and anger. Do not allow these to hold sway! Take as much time as you need to deal with your emotions, and go see a close friend to talk about the situation.

Ideally it’s best not to react to the text until you feel calm. This is because you might say something you will later regret. If you leave this message on ‘read’, it is very understandable, but you might wish to let them know you have seen it, and need time to think about it.

Get Some Answers

If you had no idea that there were any issues in the relationship, once you have calmed down, ask them why. Do this by text too: they have started the conversation in this media so it is logical to continue it the same way. Phoning them to talk can be taken as a sign of aggression, and your calls might be ignored…

Back to the why: sometimes friends and family members can take against our partners and stir up trouble, causing a break-up through misunderstandings and machinations. Get a straight answer, and if there is any duplicity, make sure that they have your side of the story too.

Restrain From Lashing Out

Once you have all the answers, it can be tempting to lash out, swearing, calling them names or making wild accusations. Try to avoid all of this, especially if you still have feelings for them.

It may be for the last time, but be honest: if you are heartbroken and hopeful they will change their mind, then say so. It might be enough to cause them to reconsider.

If not, then at least you can say you were honest right up to the end, and do not underestimate the effect of a little bit of pride in yourself when your heart is broken!

How to Respond to a Break Up Over Text

Finally, accept their decision. Make a plan for any shared assets or the return of items from one home to the other and decide if you will remain friendly on social media or not. Once all these details have been decided, you each deserve space apart.

Receiving a break-up text is never pleasant, but remember that time will allow you to move on, ready for whatever might come next.

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