What do you think of when you hear the phrase ‘male sex toy’? You might envision a creepy man in an untidy apartment, having to resort to some weird device for sexual kicks…
There is a persistent – and incorrect – belief that a man who uses a male sex toy is somehow desperate, perverted or lacking in desirability. And this has led to the existence of a stigma of men and sex toys that has been difficult to eradicate.
Whilst as many as thirty per cent of women admit to owning and using sex toys, only twelve per cent of men put their hands up. Of course, actual ownership may be higher, but this statistic goes to the highlight the stigma of men and sex toys that is prevalent in society.
What is the stigma of men and sex toys exactly? And why has this male sex toy stigma been allowed to persist for so long after women’s sexual liberation has progressed so much further? There are a number of reasons:
Myth 1. Men who need sex toys cannot get a ‘real’ woman.
This is a sadly persistent belief, with thoughtless people claiming that any man who feels horny should be able to find a willing woman. When this is contrasted along gender lines, it quickly becomes clear how silly it is.
Mainstream society has long held that men are ‘always up for it’ and that men are not fussy as to who they will have sex with – with even a relatively plain woman able to have sex should she feel the urge, how is the vibrator so popular?
Sex toys are not just for those who cannot find a date: they are for everyone – those who are too busy to date, those who have very specific needs, and for those who are already in a relationship and are looking for ways to spice up their love lives.
Myth 2. Male sex toys are crude.
Sex dolls are crude, and the earliest ones were even cruder. But a male sex toy does not have to be a sex doll.
There is a whole new world of masculine pleasure out there, with new inventions offering intense pleasure – mimicking a realistic sexual experience.
In recent years, sales of male masturbation toys have spiked. These small devices featuring a small range of apertures are designed to resemble a mouth, a vagina and an anus respectively.
This type of male sex toy is the closest equivalent to female sex toys – being relatively small, made of silicone and easy to conceal under a pillow or in an underwear drawer.
Male masturbation toys have become less taboo since the invention of the original Fleshlight and are (thankfully) more acceptable in mainstream society.
Between 2014 and 2015, a large US based adult entertainment network and ECommerce Company called GameLink experienced an enormous 60% increase in sales of male masturbators! That’s evidence enough don’t you think?!
Myth 3. It is shameful or embarrassing.
There is no shame in feeling sexual desire, nor in sexual curiosity. Women have been encouraged, in recent decades, to explore their bodies and innermost desires. Both in their own time and at their own leisure.
Why is there not a similar movement encouraging men to get to grips with what they really like, rather than an expectation to simply ‘score a chick’ to fulfill his needs.
The inventor of the Fleshlight, Steve Shubin, explained in an interview with Vice that ‘Society doesn’t allow us to do what we might have done a million years ago. We cannot chase and take the sexual things that we may have done hundreds of thousands of years ago, and that’s an awesome thing. But we still need to function as biological men.’
There is no shame in using sex toys as a man: after all, women use sex toys, both solo for relief and in a partnership to enhance the experience and make things more exciting for both parties.
Men can use sex toys in exactly the same way: as foreplay and to enhance the sexual experience with a partner, or when alone and in need of some relief. There is nothing wrong with feeling sexual desire and lust – and there is nothing wrong with satisfying those urges.
Sex toys for men have advanced rapidly, and have skyrocketed in popularity. They have attained a quality that has helped to remove the male sex toy stigma that has blighted many men’s interest in the sector. And the future of male sex toys is even more exciting!
Now you know that male sex toy stigma is becoming a thing of the past, will you indulge in a male sex toy or two for the man in your life, boosting that twelve per cent to a healthier figure? You never know: you might end up reaping the benefits of such a thoughtful gift yourself, even as you fend off the male sex toy stigma!