A Responsible Guide to Sexting: Everything You Need to Know

Whether you are in a long-term relationship, or starting something new, sexting can improve your relationship. What follows is an overview of sexting, some sexting ideas and sexting tips, as well as some information on how to sext safely.

What is Sexting?

The word ‘sexting’ is a portmanteau word, from the words sex and texting. The term was coined in 2005, a mere five years after cameras were first put into phones. The earliest phone cameras were very basic, however they were functional enough to make the idea of sending titillating photographs an appealing one.

Sexting now encompasses several different forms.

  • Chat – Talking ‘dirty’ to one another is a great way to excite your partner and yourself, letting each other know about all the things that you would like to do to them – or have done to you!
  • Images – Emojis, gifs and memes can help lay out explicit desires in a fun way, and making it easy for a discussion to take place. Humans are a visual species, men slightly more so than women, and using images and fun pictures can keep discussions fun and light hearted.
  • Photos – This is the pinnacle of sexting! The exchange of photographs between romantic partners is a sign of openness, trust and desire. Sending explicit photographs mostly takes place between partners who are very comfortable with one another. It is best not to sext until you are comfortable with a person, and you are familiar with what they enjoy in the bedroom.

Why is Sexting Popular?

woman sexting

Sexting is definitely on the increase: today approximately ninety-six per cent of the world’s population can readily take a photograph with their smartphone, and these photos are often very private.

Previously, with film cameras, the film had to be sent to a specialist lab to have the film developed and the photos printed. This process meant that at least two or three people would also see the images.

Modern studies have revealed that up to seventy percent of the age group in which sexting is most common – eighteen to twenty-four-year-olds have received or sent sexts, while up to eighty-two per cent of all university and college students had sent or received a sext in the last year.

Men are more prolific senders than women, with a hefty sixty-one per cent of men happy to send out pictures compared to only forty-eight per cent of women.

So why is sexting so popular? It is a great way to improve your relationship and take things to the next level! Read on for more ideas about how to spice up your love life.

How Sexting Can Improve your Relationship

man texting

Perfect Foreplay

Sexting is the perfect foreplay. You can heighten the anticipation by teasing each other with steamy photos and talk about things you would like to do to them, or have them do to you, building up over the course of the day until you both cannot wait to get home and have your wicked way with the other!

Refresh Your Romance

There comes a time in most relationships when things begin to feel a little flat and stale. You may think that sexting is a young person’s game, but anyone can do it: and people of any age can enjoy it when it is done appropriately.

Breath some fresh life into your relationship by sending your partner an intimate photo and suggest of some activities that you might like to try, and see how quickly your romance rekindles.

Research has found that people who sext their partners tend to have stronger feelings towards each other, as each sexting session draws you closer, offering greater intimacy and understanding.

Communication

Sexting is a great tool for communication! It can be hard to express desires and likes, especially face-to-face when you are not sure how your partner will respond. With sexting you can suggest sexual acts that you are curious about, and get a read on their views about it without feeling embarrassed or judged by them.

All too often, especially with older people who were raised in more conservative times, there is a tendency not to speak up – and this can mean that opportunities for sexual exploration are lost, sometimes until it is too late.

Sexual Fulfilment

When sexting is done right, you will both feel much closer to each other, and have a greater understanding of what you would like, both from the relationship and in bed.

This means that when you are both working to please the other, you are more likely to have better sex – and more of it! Win-win!

Long Distance Loving

Sometimes one partner has to go away for a while, whether its for business or education. Sexting photos to each other can be a great way to keep things fresh and exciting despite the distance between you.

Add a little bit of dirty talk to the images and you can have a fulfilling sexual experience – even at a great distance! There are ways that you can both be satisfied and even more in love than ever – all it takes is good timing, a little ingenuity and a strong Wi-Fi connection!

Boost Your Booty Confidence!

Many people – especially women, but increasingly men too – are insecure about their bodies, holding them up against the polished and unrealistic perfection of photo-shopped and airbrushed models and actors seen in movies and designer brand advertisements.

A reluctance to be naked in front of a partner may be very understandable, but it can also be construed as a lack of trust in them. Sending cheeky photos that are admired by your partner is a great way to help boost ones self-esteem.

The things that you do not like about your body, may be, in their eyes, the things that set you apart for them, that make you their ‘one’. After all, you do not need a million followers on social media – you only need your partner to appreciate you!

No Pressure Fantasies

Sometimes you might have heard of something that you would like to try in the bedroom, but struggle to find a way to mention it to your partner.

Raising the issue while fully dressed can seem a bit strange, while talking about it in the bedroom or while naked could come across inappropriate, as though you are expecting it to happen right now.

Exchanging sexting ideas can be a hassle-free way of mentioning your interest in the practise, whatever it might be, without your partner feeling pressured into accepting straight-away.

Having the conversation over text can make it feel less threatening and immediate, which can make modest people more likely to think about it, instead of saying ‘no’ instantly – which could be their instinctive reaction if they are suddenly bombarded with something unfamiliar.

Having the discussion via a sexting exchange can mean that you both feel physically secure, and therefore prepared to have the conversation in perhaps more detail and with more honesty than you would manage face-to-face.

How to Sext

How to sext

If you haven’t had sex with your partner before, then it’s best to hold off sexting them. At this point you don’t know what he or she likes in the bedroom, so it could make the experience more awkward than exciting!

The Excitement is in the Build Up

Sexting is all about the temptation and building up excitement; you want to keep your partner wanting more! Don’t send everything straight away, start off flirty and build the intensity up slowly whilst leaving images to the imagination.

The fun lies within the anticipation – and suggestive imagery allows you to tease and excite your partner. For example -perhaps a shot of you in a towel as you’re getting ready for a date will spark curiosity and a desire for more.

Taking Pictures

There are several ways you can take the pictures: and most people would aim to capture shots that are flattering to ones physique. Alternatively, you can tell a story in pictures. You could start fully clothed, and slowly reveal more and more of your body, with appropriate flirty accompaniments in text or emojis.

When taking pictures you may find it helpful to play the part of a more daring and adventurous self. This can help you to get into the mood and will infuse your pictures with a sexy allure for your partner. Push yourself a little way out of your comfort zone, but do be careful not to go too far.

How About a Head’s Up?

Before you begin to snap away or send seductive messages, ask your partner’s permission. Yes, really. Some people really do not enjoy the practise of sexting, they may have had a bad experience in the past, or it may just not be the right time for such an activity.

You do not have to be heavy or awkward about it, a simple text saying, ‘Hey, is now a good time for you?’ or ‘Wanna get naughty?’ can be enough to get their attention.

This sort of prelude helps your partner to prepare for the sort of pictures and words that you will be sending: bodies and sexual messages are often better received with some preparation. Asking such a question allows them an easy out before you begin.

Top Tips for Sexting

  • Start off flirty and seductive
  • Be confident with what you say
  • Build up the intensity slowly
  • Don’t take yourself too seriously!
  • Try to keep your partner guessing and intrigued
  • Make it about them
  • Ask open questions that require more than a yes or no answer

Dangers of Sexting

woman on bed

It’s important to consider some of the slightly more alarming aspect of sexting:

Ex’s Revenge

Following a bad break-up, angry or hurt people can sometimes do silly or cruel things. Unfortunately, being intimate with someone and trusting them with sexting photos and details of what you like and dislike can put a certain amount of power in their hands…

Fortunately most people, even after an acrimonious break-up, do not go out of their way to ruin the life of their former partner, instead deleting images and emails, perhaps removing their ex from their social media circle, and blocking or deleting their phone number. But there is a minority of people who are spiteful and angry, who might wish to use whatever ammunition they have in their arsenal to get back at the person who dared to leave them.

If any of your intimate photos are publicly published without your knowledge or agreement, you now have legal rights: you can get the photos taken down and deleted, and in most countries around the world, have them arrested.

It’s on the Internet

If intimate images do find themselves online, even if the photo is removed from one site, other people might have copied it or shared it onto a different site – following the trail all the way through can be a fearful and worrying experience.

There is good news though. Internet service providers and platform operators are now more aware that images can sometimes be uploaded for malice or in error, and they have taken steps to help people, firstly, protect themselves, and secondly, to remove any images that have been posted without consent.

Oops, Wrong Number!

So here’s a hypothetical situation: you are feeling horny so you snap a quick photo and send it to your lover with a steamy message about what you are going to do to them later and hit send. As it flies off into cyberspace you realise that in your excitement, you have sent it to the wrong person.

If it is just a friend, you will probably be able to laugh it off, but if you have sent it to a parent, work colleague or your boss, you will have something of a hard time explaining yourself to them!

Some professions must take great care when indulging in any type of sexual behaviour, even if it is perfectly legal and above board. For example, teachers are held to a very high moral standard, and a teacher accidentally sending an inappropriate message to a colleague may well find themselves not only out of a job, but barred from working in education ever again.

Top Tips for Safe Sexting

woman texting

Protection is Important. Password Protection, That Is!

The most important piece of advice is to secure your images. Store them safely and do not let anyone else know your passwords to your phone or laptop.

Most people now – about seventy per cent – protect their phones with a password, but forty-six per cent happily share that password, and their emails passwords too. All this sharing makes it possible for sexting images and sexting ideas to be stolen without your knowledge.

Crop It

If you are unsure about sexting photos of yourself, you can always hedge your bets by ensuring that your face or any identifying marks (tattoos, scars etc) are hidden or cropped out. In this way you will be able to maintain some anonymity.

Trust Them First

Being in a relationship is all about trust. If you have not yet reached the point when you know you can trust your new partner, do not sext with them. Of course, you can flirt and banter with them, but be a little bit wary until they have proven that you can trust them, and that they love you enough to want to protect you and your online presence as much as you do!

Final Thoughts

Hopefully you have been provided with a wealth of sexting tips, information and sexting ideas that you can put into place with your partner.

Sexting is all about the temptation and building up the excitement. Sexting should be fun and exciting, so don’t forget that! It might appear intimidating at first, but ultimately it should add fun and excitement to your sex life, not leave you terrified. Let the naughty conversations flow and just enjoy the lustful results.

Sexting might not be for everyone though, so if you don’t feel comfortable with it then don’t worry about telling your partner that it isn’t for you.

Happy sexting!

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