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After years of researching relationships and sexual health, I have to tell you… curiosity and exploration are the pillars of sexual satisfaction. 

If you’ve stumbled across this article, you and/or your partner are likely interested in venturing into pegging and exploring prostate orgasms. There is a lot of great—and not so great—information about this topic on the web, so I’ve created this sex-positive beginner’s guide to fill you in on everything you need to know about pegging. You’ll learn: 

  • What pegging is, along with its origins
  • Why it’s so popular 
  • How to discuss pegging with your partner
  • What you’ll need to do the deed
  • How to peg your partner
  • Tips and tricks for a fun and satisfying pegging session
  • Health considerations
  • Whether you and your partner are ready to try pegging

What is Pegging?

In a nutshell, pegging involves an individual without a penis (typically a female) anally penetrating someone with a penis (typically a male) with a dildo. Many sources state that both partners are generally heterosexual, but with sex and relationships ever-evolving, that’s not necessarily the case. 

Though the act of pegging has been practiced for thousands of years, sexpert and advice columnist Dan Savage coined the term back in 2001 while holding a contest in which he asked readers for submissions to name the kinky sex act. The term stuck, and pegging now has its own official—and very appropriate—name. Thank you, Dan, for your contribution to the normalization and modernization of anal sex and pegging!

Why is Pegging so Popular?

Some folks are completely mystified by the idea of role-reversal in the bedroom, but it can be incredibly fun and even empowering. Both parties get to explore and experience a new, exciting type of pleasure. 

Below, I highlight a few more reasons pegging is such a fabulous sexual experience: 

  • Swapping roles is exhilarating. Men typically take control in the bedroom, largely because they have the dominating power of the penis. Pegging allows women to take the dominant role by treating her partner—and herself—to a sexual act that’s generally played out by men. 
  • Taking control is hot. It’s no wonder why doggy style is such a turn-on for men. It’s downright erotic to see your partner writhing in ecstasy, and pegging allows women to experience that same level of eroticism and satisfaction from behind.
  • Prostate orgasms are completely unique. Traditional sexual intercourse feels incredible for men, but pegging provides an entirely different sensation. Penetrating the anus stimulates thousands of nerve endings, resulting in incomparable pleasure that men don’t typically experience.
  • It’s not all about receiving. Although it may seem that pegging is primarily for the man’s pleasure, it’s hot for the giver, too. A dildo’s base feels glorious when pressed against the clitoris. It’s not uncommon for women to orgasm while pegging, as the combination of physical pleasure and excitement often pushes them over the edge.
  • It can be combined with other sexual acts. There’s nothing hotter than being pegged while restrained or blindfolded. If both parties are game, combining pegging with BDSM can take your pleasure to a whole new level. 

How to Discuss Pegging with Your Partner

So, what if you’re seriously considering introducing pegging into your relationship, but you don’t know how to approach your partner about such a sensitive topic? It may be easier than you imagine. 

Here are a few tips to make the conversation comfortable for both you and your significant other: 

Know when to broach the subject

Avoid mentioning the possibility of pegging during sex or when you or your partner are stressed. While some experts suggest keeping this particular conversation out of the bedroom, I actually recommend broaching the topic when you and your partner are satisfied and cuddly after sex—or whenever you’re feeling connected and relaxed. 

Send your partner an article about pegging

If a post-sex convo doesn’t sound appealing, consider sending your significant other an article outlining the basics, including the perks of pegging. Communication is important here, so give your partner a head’s up. Along with the article, possibly include a sweet, encouraging note suggesting you discuss the topic further when he or she is ready. 

Suggest taking your anal play to the next level

If you enjoy your partner stimulating your anus with her fingers, pegging is the next natural step. Explain that you love the sensation of prostate orgasms and would like to try something more intense, such as a dildo. 

Simply ask if your partner is interested

If your significant other is open to sexual exploration, simply ask if he’d like to try being pegged. When taking this direct approach, hope for the best and expect the worst. For some men, the thought of pegging may feel emasculating, but introducing the topic might just get his wheels turning. 

Share your sexual fantasies

One of my favorite ways to suggest a new sex act to my partner is by discussing our fantasies with one another. This is an excellent way to casually confess that pegging is on your wish list without any expectations. 

What You’ll Need for Pegging

You’ll need to invest in a few items before venturing into pegging. Below, you’ll find a list of everything you’ll need to penetrate your partner: 

A Dildo

I recommend choosing a pegging strap on dildo together, as there are limitless options. Some women prefer a dildo with a built-in piece for vaginal/clitoral stimulation. It’s up to you and your partner to decide whether you want a realistic version or an over-the-top model.

When purchasing your first pegging-specific dildo(s), I’d suggest researching different models. I’m also a fan of variety, so consider picking up a couple of different models in different sizes, shapes, angles, etc. Trust me: If you and your partner are both keen on pegging, you’ll love playing with your new toys. 

Note: Check to see if the dildo(s) you purchase require a strap-on harness. Some models are hands-free, while others are not. Unless the dildo is a double-sided dildo (aka a strapless strap-on) you’ll need to buy a strap-on harness in order to facilitate hands-free play.

Lube

Anal penetration requires plenty of lubrication, so plan to splurge on plenty of lube. I recommend water-based lubes, as they’re safe for virtually all sex toys and wipe off easily. You should also use water-based lube if you and your partner choose to use condoms (some couples use condoms to avoid having to clean their dildos). 

While I personally prefer water-based lube, many folks opt for silicone-based alternatives. Honestly, I get it, as the silicone variety is super slippery and tends to last longer. It’s ironically unsafe for silicone dildos and those made from jelly, so be sure to consider what your toy is made of before purchasing lubrication. 

Note: Avoid oil-based lubes to preserve the life of your toys. This type of lube is famous for breaking down nearly every type of material.

Towels (optional)

While towels aren’t a necessity, pegging can get pretty messy—mostly due to the massive amount of lube you’ll need. I usually suggest laying out towels during the first pegging session to keep your sheets lube-free. 

The Basics of Pegging Play

pegging and prostate orgasms

Now that you’re stocked up on supplies, it’s time for some fun! 

I’ve created a step-by-step guide for pegging success, which I’ll share with you below: 

  1. Start with plenty of foreplay. You and your partner will need to be turned-on to fully enjoy the experience. Don’t rush the process, as the anus needs to be relaxed before insertion. If you’re unsure whether your partner is ready for penetration, test the waters by inserting a finger. 
  2. Use plenty of lube. Anal sex requires loads of lubrication, and pegging is no exception. Apply the lube all over the dildo and liberally to your partner’s anus. You’ll likely need more lube while you’re in the act, so keep the bottle within reach.  
  3. Pick a position. If your partner lacks experience in the pegging department, it’s best to let him choose how he’d like to be pegged. Many men respond well to sitting on top of the woman, as they can control the speed and depth. 

While doggy style is great for pegging, I don’t necessarily recommend it for your first session, as the woman is completely in control in this position. Facing your partner will also allow you to see his reactions, which will help you determine when you need to slow down, decrease the depth, or pull out altogether. 

Start slow. When you enter your partner, start slow and shallow. Allow him plenty of time to get used to the feeling before increasing speed and depth. It’s perfectly fine to ask if he’s comfortable or if he’d like you to go deeper or faster. While you’ll likely take some cues from his body language and facial expressions, it’s important to ask questions if you have any concerns. 

Tips and Tricks for a Fun and Satisfying Pegging Session

Pegging can be extremely satisfying—and addictive—for both the giver and receiver. The following tips will ensure you have a fun, fulfilling pegging session:

Don’t fret about what might come out

Okay, I have to mention this taboo topic. The thought of poop keeps a whole lot of sex-positive people from giving pegging a try. This is unfortunate, as poo very rarely rears its ugly head during anal. That’s because poop resides in the colon until you actually go to the bathroom and push it out through the rectum and anal canal. 

If you’re concerned about residue, a pre-pegging bath or shower should do the trick. Water enemas are also an option; however, this step is completely unnecessary in most cases.

Add lube as you go

The key to a comfortable pegging session is generous amounts of lube. Application isn’t a one-and-done situation. You’ll likely need to break out the bottle several times during anal play.

Try different positions

If you or your partner just aren’t feeling it, switching positions can be a game-changer. Slow and steady is the way to go when venturing into pegging, and experimenting with different angles and positions will help you decide what you like.

You can also experiment with massaging your partner’s testicles or stimulating the penis simultaneously if you are pegging in a position that frees up your hands to do so.

Let yourself go

There’s so much prep work when it comes to pegging, from research and purchasing toys to finding a yummy position. Once you’ve found your groove, immerse yourself in the moment. Noises and “dirty talk” are definitely encouraged.

Share your thoughts

After your sex session, open up to your partner about your thoughts and feelings regarding pegging, and encourage him to do the same. Ask what he couldn’t get enough of and what he could do without. Open communication will result in sexier, more satisfying pegging sessions. 

Health Considerations

Not to ruin the mood, but I’d be remiss not to mention health risks associated with pegging: 

Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI’s)

Unfortunately, STIs can spread between partners even during pegging. To reduce the risk, I recommend purchasing a dildo constructed from medical-grade silicone, using a condom over the dildo, and thoroughly washing the toy after each use. 

Just as oil-based lubes aren’t safe for most toys, they’re also incompatible with condoms. As mentioned previously, I suggest avoiding this type of lube altogether. 

Pain and/or Bleeding

If you bleed or experience pain following a pegging session, you may have skimped on the lube. If your symptoms persist, contact a medical professional. Microtears are relatively common during anal sex due to a lack of lubrication. 

Worsening of Hemmerhoids

If you deal with hemorrhoids, they could potentially worsen after pegging. 

Note: Many people are concerned that pegging will permanently stretch their anus or cause anal cancer. These concerns are unsubstantiated and shouldn’t be a deciding factor when determining whether you and your partner are ready to try pegging. 

Are You and Your Partner Ready for Your First Pegging Session?

Now that I’ve filled you in on the ins and outs of pegging, it’s time to decide whether you and your significant other are ready to dive in. An in-depth conversation is essential, as there’s a lot to discuss prior to experimenting with any new type of play. 

Many open-minded couples are curious about pegging but hesitate to try it due to the stigma it carries. It’s important to remember that you and your partner define your relationship, both in and out of the bedroom.

Being on the receiving end of pegging doesn’t make you less masculine, just as being the giver doesn’t take away a woman’s femininity. I highly suggest following your mutual desires rather than society’s ideal of what’s “right” and “wrong” when it comes to sex. 

Above all else, enjoy your sexual journey. As author Cherie Carter-Scott famously said, Pleasure is the physical manifestation of joy.” I couldn’t agree more. We all deserve pleasure—and the joy it creates. 

Hold up!

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