Few words in the fetish world are quite as divisive as “daddy.” Holding a significant amount of power, it isn’t only those involved in daddy dom relationships that are affected. Fundamental misunderstandings of its meaning lead to some charged opinions on the matter.
In this beginner’s guide, you’ll learn more about Daddy Doms, including:
- What it means to be a daddy dom
- What it means to be a Baby
- How these relationships may involve BDSM
- The perks of these dynamics
- How to be a good daddy dom
What Is a Daddy Dom?
A daddy dom is someone who takes on a dominant but caring role for a partner who plays their own part as a “Little” in a daddy dom relationship. There’s a broad spectrum for both roles. This could be in the bedroom only or a part of daily life.
Engaging in a daddy kink can take on many forms. Some only want to call their partner “daddy,” and it ends there. For others, it expands into how they perceive their partner and how their partners treat them in return. Regardless of the depth you delve into, two elements are always present in this type of sexual play: trust and respect.
Of course, you would hope that at least some measure of those emotions were present in any sexual encounter, but it’s essential here.
From the “baby” or little’s side, it’s a matter of feeling secure and safe. The baby is giving up a great deal of control, which can be scary for anyone. Trusting their partner is paramount to letting go and enjoying the experience.
What Is a Baby in Daddy Dom Relationships?
A baby is a partner in a daddy dom relationship who’s being “cared for” by the daddy. This could be as simple as being spanked during sex to staying at home while the dominant partner cares for all their needs. Those needs vary from financial to personal.
Different Types of Babies
Though there are daddies of different dominance levels, styles of treatment, and involvement, they largely fall into the same category. Babies are more diverse, and there are several that define the nature of the daddy dom relationship.
A little is someone who regresses to acting like a child. They may suck on binkies, drink from sippy cups and even dress much younger. A daddy and little will engage in ageplay under a dom daddy/little girl or dom daddy/little boy dynamic. There may also be a mommy involved for straight male littles.
While this style may be kept exclusively to sexual practices, it’s most often an entire lifestyle. It emphasizes the little being taken care of by the daddy.
The Sugar Baby
This type of baby seeks an often older man who’s financially independent to provide bill pay, gifts, and an allowance. Websites dedicated to fostering these relationships are standard, and you most often see them between professional men and women in university or just starting their careers. Men can also be Sugar Babies, either with a sugar daddy or mommy.
Contrary to popular belief, these relationships are rarely all about money. There is genuine affection and sometimes love there, though it’s often understood that they are temporary arrangements.
A Brat is technically a BDSM term but often applies to these daddy relationships. It’s the brat’s role to push boundaries and break “rules” for the sake of being playful and mischievous. They would then be “punished” by either a strict or a doting daddy who appreciates their nature.
What makes this type of baby unique is that they’ll invariably refuse to comply with any commands made by the daddy.
This isn’t an exhaustive list, and you can find nearly any combination of them as well. But it gives you a general idea of how the daddy dom kink isn’t a singular one.
BDSM in the Daddy Kink
For many people, hearing the term daddy doms makes them think of BDSM or that a daddy has to be a BDSM daddy. This is entirely understandable, as the concept is very popular in those circles. The power play dynamic is, likewise, one that lends itself naturally to this kink.
However, it isn’t always true. Not all daddies and babies take part in BDSM, while some do to the extreme. A baby or a daddy could end up in a slave role, for example. Or one could be a sadist or masochist who prefers to make pain and humiliation the center focus of their sexcapades.
Daddies and BDSM in Media
Whether BDSM is incorporated in the daddy dom relationship, one thing remains paramount: consent.
Many experts have pointed out it on the topic (not to mention the BDSM community itself), but the kink has gotten a bad rep. This is thanks mainly to faux-dominant portrayals in media, such as Christian Grey (50 Shades of Grey) and even The Joker (Suicide Squad).
Each of the two characters shows BDSM and daddy play, respectively. Both represent abuse, where the partner is harmed in some way that they haven’t consented to. In the 50 Shades Trilogy, Anastasia Steele gives safe words and even asks him to stop, only to be ignored.
In Suicide Squad, Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn wears a “Daddy’s Little Monster” shirt and shows qualities common to both littles and brats in her interactions with him. Only to be nearly killed by him on several occasions. And, well…comic book fans are well aware of the horrific treatment she receives from her psychopathic boyfriend and super-villain partner in crime.
The Perks of Being a Daddy
Stepping outside of the rather dubious media portrayals of the world of the daddy and baby, we can look at more real facts about it. That includes what makes them desirable roles in the first place.
Anyone you ask will have their own ideas of what perks come along with their playtime. But these are some of the most frequently cited:
The Daddy Can Have More Control in the Relationship
Control is usually a part of daddy dom relationships, on some level. Yet, it isn’t a single person who’s holding it. While the daddy might be in charge, many in the community will say that it’s really the baby who is running the show. But the facade is what gets the juices running.
The Kink You Get Can Increase Your Intimacy
There’s power in kink. It drives lust and makes the sex that much more satisfying for both partners, but it can generate a feeling of closeness as well. Engaging in kinks and fetishes requires trust and openness in order to work. It can lead to greater intimacy as a result.
There’s More Trust Between You and Your Partner
You can’t have one of these relationships healthily without a lot of trust built between partners. Both the daddy and baby are vulnerable in their own ways. When you feel secure and know you can rely on your sexual partner, you can relax more and enjoy yourself without fear.
It Makes You a Better Partner
Daddy dom relationships are focused on tenderness and affection. The baby demands that her daddy make her – or him – feel precious. Hence, terms like “Daddy’s Little Princess;” isn’t just a moniker. A successful daddy will make his baby happy in every way, and being sweet is just as important as being dominant.
How To Be a Good Daddy Dom
Being the perfect daddy dominant depends so much on what both parties want. But some elements are always present. Let’s explore what those factors are, so you can be the best daddy you can be!
As a Daddy Dom, it’s your job always to ensure that all acts are being done consensually. There’s nothing fun about being forced or coerced into an act. All things should be done for the enjoyment of both parties, and if that means taking an extra few seconds to check in, do it.
This is a good lesson for everyone, regardless of kink. Sex doesn’t always have to be serious. It can be just as great to give in to the giggles every once in a while. Approaching the sensual with a touch of humor can elevate your experiences, not detract from them. Talk with your partner and make them laugh to spice things up.
It can be easy to get rigid about your “role” in this kind of relationship. Your baby is going to have their own ideas about what they want to try. Not all of them are going to fit into a neat little box. The best daddies are the ones who are willing to expand out and try new things.
Being a daddy dom isn’t just about doing what you enjoy but also what your baby wants!
Focus on Your Partner’s Pleasure
When you’re in any dominant position, a lot of the sex play can center around what they’re doing to you, especially at your order. Make sure that you reciprocate just as readily and give your baby all they need to reach those toe-curling moments of ecstasy.
Being more focused on your partner’s please doesn’t just make you a good daddy, but a good lover!
A daddy dominant relationship might not be for everyone. But if you find yourself melting at the sound of someone calling you by the title, it might just be for you. Don’t let other people’s opinions on the matter deter you. Daddy play in all its forms can be a huge turn-on!