Have you got a collection of sex toys but nowhere to put them? Perhaps you have kids, family members, or friends who regularly come to your house that you don’t want to find your secret stash. I’ve created a list of the perfect places to hide your sex toys so your private collection can remain a secret!
The best places to hide a sex toy are inside a suitcase, lockbock, poster tube, false bottomed drawer, boring box, purse, or in a zippered garment bag. All of these locations are discreet, making them great hiding spots for sex objects.
This article will go over these secret locations in detail. Then, I’ll discuss some other things you should consider when hiding your sex objects!
Inside a Suitcase
Typically the only time family members pay any attention to suitcases is if you have a family trip planned. So, most of the year, suitcases are a goldmine for sex toy storage! Suitcases are an excellent option if your sex toy collection is on the larger side since they can hold a fair amount of stuff.
I recommend keeping your special suitcase somewhere nearby, such as in your closet or under your bed, for easy access. If possible, put it on the top shelf of your wardrobe or put a padlock on it so that it’s harder for children or other unwanted individuals to get inside. If any snoopy-snoops ask why the suitcase is locked, just say you got the lock to keep your items safe while traveling. That should get them off your tail!
Within a Lockbox
If you don’t want to take any chances that someone will stumble upon your sex toys, a lockbox is the way to go. They make lockboxes in all shapes and sizes nowadays, so you should be able to find one that will accommodate your collection. You can even buy specifically designed sex toy storage boxes that can be locked to house your intimate products!
You can store it in your closet on the top shelf, at the bottom of your linen closet, under your bed, or in another discreet location where it won’t draw much attention.
If someone stumbles upon it, they’ll likely assume that it houses valuable items, like necessary paperwork, jewelry, cash, etc. Technically they are right since it is holding something worthwhile, just not what they expect!
If someone gets a little nosy and asks what’s in the box, you can say that it’s one of the previously mentioned objects or just say it’s private. Everyone’s allowed to have a little privacy!
Inside a Poster Tube
If the majority of your sex toys are long and lean, like dildos or vibrators, a poster tube is a wonderful hiding place! Poster tubes are those long rigid tubes that posters or important documents come in. They are the perfect spot to keep your sex toys since they are incredibly dull. Most onlookers will have little to no interest in taking off the cap to find out what’s inside.
If you don’t have a poster tube lying around, just go to the store and buy a cute poster. Your purchase will get you an excellent little decor item for your home and a super sneaky place to hide your personal devices. It sounds like a win-win to me!
In a False Bottomed Drawer
This is a very innovative technique for hiding your sex toys. To perform this method, you’ll start by selecting a drawer. The deeper the drawer, the more stuff you’ll be able to fit, so keep that in mind when making your selection. If you want your items to be even more secure, pick a drawer that other people rarely go into, such as your underwear drawer.
Next, you’ll need to make the false-bottomed drawer. To do this:
- Cut a piece of plywood to the dimensions of the drawer.
- Glue wine corks or other evenly sized objects to the wood’s four corners. These will support the false drawer bottom.
- Put your sex toys in the bottom of the drawer.
- Put your false bottom into the drawer and cover it with inconspicuous objects.
Now, when someone opens the drawer, all they’ll see is the decoy items on top. Only you will know that you have to remove the false drawer to find the treasures underneath!
In Boring Boxes
Do you have old shoe boxes or tampon boxes lying around? If so, you’ve got an excellent sex toy hiding spot right under your nose!
Shoe boxes are pretty dull. Kids usually aren’t interested in them unless they need them for a school project, which you can plan for. Therefore, they are the perfect place to store your sex toys! Try to put your shoeboxes at the top of the closet where it’s difficult for your little ones to reach.
Tampon boxes are also a great option. Half of the population doesn’t need tampons, so your stash will be safe from the boys in your household. To hide your private collection from women, put your tampon box in a non-bathroom-related location, like your closet or under your bed. Then, put tampons and pads in your guest bathroom so your lady visitors won’t need to go snooping around to find some.
Inside of a Purse
If you have a considerable purse collection, why not put it to fair use and hide some of your sex objects in them? Many purses come with hidden pockets where you can stash money, tampons, and yes, even sex objects!
If you have many toys to hide, put them in purses that zip or in backpacks. This way, you’ll be able to utilize the main compartment. Just zip up the bag, and no one will know what treasures await inside.
Make sure to put your toys in purses you rarely use. If you switch to one of your infrequently used bags, make sure to check it for contraband before you leave the house. You don’t want to accidentally head to work with a dildo in your purse. That would be awkward, to say the least!
In a Zippered Garment Bag
Zippered garment bags are the perfect place to stash your sex toys secretly. To do this method, simply unzip the garment bag, put your sex toys inside, and zip it up. Make sure you use a black garment bag, as the white ones may be a little too revealing.
To make this hiding spot even more discreet, keep a piece of clothing inside the garment bag to hide the toys, such as a long dress. Also, put the garment bag in the middle of your clothing rack so other clothes hide it. If you have too many sex toys to fit in one garment bag, get multiple bags and disperse them throughout your closet.
With these measures in place, it’s unlikely anyone will come upon your stash (even if they happen to be in your closet for some reason)!
Things To Consider When Storing Your Sex Toys
Before you store your sex toys, you should consider a few factors. We’ve gone over these in detail below.
Pick Somewhere Boring/Unused
Your motto should be “the more boring, the better.” Hide your toys in spots that your kids and guests will have no interest in looking inside. The locations mentioned above are all great since most of them are really dull!
Additionally, it would help if you hide your sex toys inside something that your family rarely uses. For example, if your daughter loves borrowing your purses, hiding your toys inside your purse collection is a no-go. Or, if your family travels a lot, you shouldn’t stuff your dildos into your suitcase.
Selecting the most boring, unused spots in your home is the safest way to find the perfect hiding spot!
Select a Room Where Guests Won’t Go
Don’t put your toys in your kid’s room, the living room, the guest room, the guest bathroom, or any other room that other people frequently use. Even if you don’t think your guests will snoop, it’s better to be safe than sorry!
Typically, the best room to put your toys in is your bedroom, especially in your personal bathroom or closet. Most of the time, your kids and house guests will not need to come into your bedroom, making it a safe haven for your sex objects.
Don’t Forget Where You Put Them
Putting your sex toys in one location is much easier to remember than sticking them in random spots around the room. If you hide them in too many places, you may forget where you put them, which can have regrettable consequences.
Therefore, you should try to put them all together in one hiding spot where you’ll remember where they are. Plus, they’ll be easier to access if you don’t have to do a scavenger hunt every time you want to use them!
By storing your sex toys in a boring, inconspicuous location, you’ll prevent them from getting exposed. To recap, some of the best spots to keep them include:
- Put them inside a suitcase.
- Keep them within a lockbox.
- Stuff them in a poster tube.
- Place them in a false bottomed drawer.
- Pack them in boring boxes.
- Stick them inside of a purse.
- Hang them in a zippered garment bag.
I hope this article has helped you keep your intimate objects away from prying eyes!