There are a lot of harmful myths and misconceptions about having sex in a larger body. Overweight bodies are extremely underrepresented in the media or porn. For example, when was the last time you saw a sex scene in a movie with an overweight couple?
This lack of representation may lead overweight people to believe they need to lose weight to feel desired. Or they may feel insecure when it comes to what to do in the bedroom and how to best feel comfortable because they’ve never seen a relatable example of themselves having sex.
But the increasing popularity of the body positivity movement has brought to light the fact that overweight people have sex (mostly) just like everyone else. Some positions are simply more pleasurable for couples in larger bodies. Some positions take the weight off joints or allow easier access for penetration with a fuller belly or butt.
In this article, I’ve outlined the best sex positions for overweight couples. These tips may even be helpful for those in temporarily bigger bodies, for example, pregnant women or those looking for more support on their joints, so read on no matter what your body looks like!
A classic… with a boost. Have the receiver prop up their pelvis on a pillow or even a dedicated sex wedge (yes, sex furniture exists for this exact purpose!) This will allow for better penetration and increased comfort for those with larger bellies. Many people, of all sizes, can appreciate the extra support from the pillow.
This position is also fantastic if you’re trying to conceive because of the angle of the penis toward the uterus. No position guarantees pregnancy, however, most women have an anteverted uterus, meaning it tilts forward, so the angle of a supported missionary style position allows gravity to work in your favor and allow the sperm to swim “with the current” rather than against it.
Another classic. However, doggy style should be part of the routine roundup for overweight couples if it isn’t already! Doggy style allows for deep penetration and the giver can grip on to larger buttcheeks and both spread and control their thrusting for maximum pleasure. For more support, add a pillow or blanket under the knees of both the giver and receiver.
Also, for receivers who find their butt is their best asset, this position can be extremely sexy and confidence-inspiring for them, which definitely matters when it comes to pleasurable sex! If you’re nervous about your partner looking at you from behind or you just want to amp up the sexiness, try panties with a hole in the crotch.
With the receiver on the edge of a bed or counter the giver can stand and control their thrusting and any curvier body parts are out of the way. This position also allows for deep penetration. If the receiver is flexible enough, have them put their legs in the air or rest on the shoulders of the giver for maximum comfort.
If not, simply have the receiver assume missionary. It may take some practice to find the perfect height surface for a standing position, but if you have a taller bed you’re at an advantage for this one.
Cowgirl/ Reverse Cowgirl
Have that receiver get on top finally! Ride that partner! This is great for a receiver that really likes to be in control. Face your partner for the classic cowgirl or throw it in reverse to show them your greatest *assets*. Cowgirl or reverse cowgirl is a go-to for overweight couples because curvy bellies or breasts are out of the way and can even be shown off in a really flattering and sexy way.
Many positions can be assumed in a sex swing and sex swings can accommodate couples of all sizes. A sex swing is a great tool for couples that really love to have fun with their intimacy and are not afraid to try new things. It’s just important to ensure your sex swing is installed properly, especially for heavier couples, because if not it could be dangerous.
The best position to start out with for a sex swing is just like standing, where the receiver sits in the swing and the giver stands and can thrust away as they please. The swing just adds a little motion that can’t be found on a bed. It’s super comfortable for overweight couples as there isn’t necessarily a “top” or “bottom”- so one person isn’t putting so much pressure on the other.
Skinny dipping is for all bodies! Pool sex is more of a location rather than a position, but it’s highly underrated for curvy couples because it allows for some low-impact, good-on-the-joints sex. Try having the receiver sit on the stairs and the giver standing and thrusting. And make sure you’re in your own private pool! In case you’re wondering, yes, you can still get pregnant or catch an STD in the pool, so still continue to use protection and/or contraception.
Spooning is a low-effort position, perfect for foreplay or morning sex, that can allow the big spoon to use their hands for pleasure. Men often overlook how important clitoral stimulation is for a woman to orgasm so throwing this position in the mix can really be really important for those that prefer it. This position also allows a couple to be super close together and cuddly, unlike the other positions. So if physical touch is your love language, this position is especially for you. This position is also great for communication and pillow talk. So if you’re a newer couple you can really express what you like and how you like it.
Other Sex Tips
Being overweight may affect your sex life in more ways than simply positioning. Finding optimal positions can go a long way in increasing your pleasure and comfort, but there are likely many other ways to enhance your sex life that you could be overlooking.
For example, sexual dysfunction such as low libido, erectile dysfunction (ED), or difficulty ejaculating all affect overweight people at higher rates. If these issues affect you or your partner finding solutions such as healthy lifestyle changes, experimenting with aphrodisiacs, consulting a physician and taking prescription ED medications, or even introducing lube or toys into the mix can all be ways to take your sex life to the next level. If your partner decides to make such changes, remember to be supportive. Especially for men, taking the step to talk about sexual dysfunction with a doctor can be uncomfortable.
It’s also best to have a conversation with your partner about your desires, whether it be what you simply like and don’t like, what you’d like more of, when and how often you’d like to have sex.
Often these conversations are overlooked because we assume we may know what our partner likes, especially if you’ve been with them for a long time. Even if you’ve had conversations about sex before it’s best to check in because desires change as you experiment with new things. Try simply asking your partner what they want or what they like most.