Keep things hot with up to 50% off selected products at Lovehoney

What comes to mind when you think of BDSM? Whips, chains, dog collars, and name-calling? Those can certainly apply, though there is far more to the scene than those stereotypes.

In fact, given the less-than-stellar portrayal in the media, you may have a very different idea of what BDSM and bondage are for most practitioners.

Light BDSM is a much more common form practiced. It is an excellent introduction to the lifestyle, whether an occasional kink or a full-blown fetish. This guide will give you a crash course on the topic and get you ready to play. So read on!

What Is Light Bondage?

Light bondage is a less extreme form of BDSM. BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism, and Masochism. So the lighter version dips into any of those combinations for the sake of arousal or fetish play.

Within that realm, light bondage is perhaps the most “tame.” It involves tying another person up, which may or may not have dominance and submission elements.

For example, you might not give orders but instead, tickle the person with a feather or tease them. That would be a less intensive form of bondage.

Light BDSM and Bondage Play Beginners Guide 2

For those who like to be in control, light BDSM could mean you make your partner beg to reach orgasm or do tasks to “earn” sex. There could also be a little bit of name-calling or heavier teasing to show who’s boss in the scenario.

Denial also falls into this category – as in, not allowing the person to be touched or to cum.

If you enjoy giving or receiving minor pain, you probably won’t be playing with more damaging toys like riding crops. Instead, a softer alternative like a cat-o-nine tail which allows the wielder to hit with less force could be used, or an open hand or covered paddle for spanking.

Maybe drip some candle wax for a minor burn or pull their hair.

Marks are rarely left in light BDSM, and there are tools out there made for anyone who likes to do experience light bondage play or rough sex outside of more committed games.

Many interested in the BDSM lifestyle start here and work their way up as they discover their limits and what they do and don’t like. However, some prefer to stay firmly within this sphere.

Different Types of BDSM Roles

Because the spectrum is so broad, it can be helpful to define BDSM not by the styles of the play itself – which are endless – but by the roles played within those realms.

So, if you’re involved in BDSM, you will probably fall within these three categories. However, keep in mind that many other roles can apply, such as Daddy Dom/Little Girl, Slave/Master, Top/Bottom, etc.

Dominant

A Dominant or Dom/Domme is someone who gives orders, period. They do not take instructions from the Submissive or even from another Dominant playing in the bedroom.

They remain firmly in control of their partner, deciding what is and isn’t done at any given time. If they say “Jump!” the Sub asks, “How high?” Possibly around a gag in their mouth.

Submissive

A Submissive or Sub is someone who enjoys giving control of their body over to a dominant partner. They enjoy being put into positions where they have to fulfill the whims of their Dom/Domme, sometimes even in a non-sexual act.

They love to submit and have discovered the joy of being on their knees.

Switch

A Switch is someone who enjoys both roles, whether equally or one more than the other. Rather than commit themselves to a single state, they will take turns giving or taking the reins.

This could be based on their mood or the mood of their partner. It may even be the type of relationship they’re in. It isn’t unheard of for a Switch to become one or the other long-term to please their other half.

What You Need To Know If You’re Thinking About Trying BDSM

Are you interested in getting started? That’s great! Some fun, kinky times await you.

But before you don a leather onesie and jump into the deep end, there are some things you should know. These facts about BDSM will help you get started the right way and avoid the common issues that befall newbies first getting into the fetish.

Consent Is Key

Light BDSM and Bondage Play Beginner’s Guide 2

Consent is the number one priority in any healthy BDSM relationship.

Unfortunately, Fifty Shades of Grey was many peoples’ first real introduction to the world of bondage, and it did not represent BDSM appropriately.

It became a controversial series in the BDSM Community thanks to the lack of consent between characters. The male protagonist regularly ignores safe words, and he even continues when Anastasia tells him ‘no.’

That is not BDSM, it is abuse, and it is essential to understand the difference before you join this lifestyle in any capacity.

You Don’t Have To Do Anything You’re Uncomfortable With

Light bondage sex does not require any other elements of BDSM if you don’t want it to. It can be added into any sexual act as you see fit, no matter how kinky or vanilla.

But you should never feel like you have to “keep up,” as this is all about pleasure and fun. No one will judge or force you if you want to be tied up but not whipped. If they do, the relationship is unsafe, and you should end it.

Doms Are There for the Pleasure of the Sub

Contrary to what some believe, a Dom/Domme is not cruel, and they never do anything that the Sub doesn’t want.

Consent is paramount in this type of relationship, and everything a good Dominant does will be based around the desire of their partner, as much or more than their own.

The Submissive Calls the Shots

The Dominant appears to be in control, but it is really the Submissive who calls the shots.

They will set the majority of boundaries in this dynamic, as they are the ones to whom most things, including punishment, happen.

Consequently, the Subs usually set most of those boundaries, even though Dominants will have their own rules and dealbreakers.

Work With a Mentor To Explore the Lifestyle

You can find mentors if you feel uncomfortable exploring on your own. In addition, there are likely groups in your area where individuals meet up, and either have regular brunches or even engage in some sex play together.

If you are ever interested in learning from people who have been into BDSM for longer, it isn’t hard to find them and pick their brains.

Talk With Your Partner Before Trying Anything New

Expectations should be set before any sex play. After all, it can be easy to get lost in the moment, and no one is saying you are a bad person if some BDSM slips into a passionate session without discussing it first.

But if you are thinking of taking it further than one night of a bit of spanking, sitting down with your partner and coming up with boundaries is critical. Deciding on a safe word is a good idea, as well.

Fun Toys for BDSM and Light Bondage Play

BDSM has a wide-range appeal. Studies have shown that people from all walks of life enjoy it and that it can even improve your sex life.

Now that you have a good breakdown of what Light BDSM and Bondage means, you’re ready to let the good times roll!

Here are some toys to check out. They will add a real spark to any session of lovemaking, no matter how gentle or rough it gets.

Wartenberg Pinwheel BDSM Sex Toy

Wartenberg Wheel BDSM

Want to add a bit of extra sensation to play? Wartenberg Pinwheels have become all the rage lately, giving a controllable dose of pleasure or pain with the drag of a hand.

Made from metal, usually stainless steel, they are tipped with a sharpened pinwheel covered in spikes. When it rolls across the skin, it spins and drags the feeling along with it.

You can press down as hard as you like. Keep it light, and it will simply cause goosebumps. Push down harder, and you can leave marks, even break the skin if that is what you and your partner want.

Electric Sex Toys

Electricity is incredible when applied in the right way. Estim toys allow you to shock your partner, and you can personalize the experience by changing the levels to match your preference.

When turned down, these toys will tickle and can be quite pleasant. However, if you crank up the juice, you will start to cause pain as you administer electric shocks to different parts of the body.

Lovehoney All Tied Up Bondage Play Kit (8 Piece)

Tying someone down – or being the one tied – is a thrill that gets many people started with this kink.

There are plenty of ways to do it, from handcuffs to leather ties. But one of the easiest options is to buy a bondage kit that comes with several options, so you and your partner can find out what gets your motors running strongest.

The Lovehoney bondage play kit has soft cuffs for your ankles and wrists, an eye mask, nipple suckers, a vibrating cock ring, and a flogger.

Final Thoughts

A little pain never hurts anyone! If you want to test that theory, a bit of light BDSM or bondage might be right up your alley.

Don’t be afraid to give in to your kinky side, whether you start with a pair of handcuffs or just a few naughty words.

Keep things hot with up to 50% off selected products at Lovehoney

Hold Up!

Get up to 50% off selected toys and lingerie at
Lovehoney

Scroll to Top