If you and your spouse’s sex life has become a bit stale, you may be looking for ways to spice things up in the bedroom. One way to do this is through swinging when you and your partner have sex with other couples. However, many people are worried about such a lifestyle and its risks — so, is swinging bad?
While swinging can be a good lifestyle for some, it can be bad and dangerous, especially for married couples whose relationships aren’t strong enough. So, before you give swinging a try, you need to consider whether it’ll be healthy for your marriage or if it’ll cause more harm than good.
In this article, we’ll delve into swing lifestyles and effects on marriage, including ways in which swinging can negatively impact a relationship. After highlighting the dangers of swinging, I’ll also touch on some scenarios in which swinging may be beneficial.
Swinging Makes You More Likely To Contract an STD
People who participate in high-risk lifestyles, such as swinging, are more likely to get an STD. That’s because swingers often have sex with several other people. While this is the main appeal of the swinger lifestyle, it is also the primary danger since your partners may be carrying STDs (sexually transmitted diseases).
While you can get an STD from having sex with just one partner, your likelihood significantly increases when you have sex with multiple partners, especially when they are also having sex with several people (which is precisely what swinging is)!
While many swingers are conscious of their sexual health, there is no way to guarantee that your partners aren’t carrying something since many STDs don’t result in any physical signs or symptoms. So, unless your partners are getting tested before every swinging session, they could have an STD without even knowing it.
Wearing condoms can help prevent the spread of STDs while swinging. However, there is always the chance that the condom will break or that it isn’t being used correctly, which will render it ineffective. So, even if all of your partners wear condoms, there is sadly still a risk that you’ll contract something!
Swinging Can Lead to Jealousy
If you or your partner are the “jealous-type,” then swinging is not for you. For example, if you get angry when they text their hot co-worker or when they like pictures of sexy models on Instagram, then you will definitely be upset when you see them getting it on with another person.
Even if you don’t think you’re a very jealous person, seeing your partner have sex with other people can be challenging for anyone. So, before you jump into swinging, make sure it’s a decision that’ll be beneficial for your relationship instead of one that’ll make you and your partner feel jealous or resentful.
Swinging Can Harm Struggling Marriages
Some couples try swinging in an attempt to save their failing marriages, but in reality, swinging can lead struggling marriages to fail. Some unhappy couples think that having sex with other people will add excitement and passion back into their relationship, thereby solving their problems. However, this is anything but the truth.
If you and your partner aren’t doing well, mixing your rocky marriage and swinging together could put the final nail in the coffin.
Swinging requires trust and open communication, which partners in struggling marriages often don’t have. For the swinger lifestyle to work, you have to share your honest thoughts and feelings with your partner. Additionally, you need to be able to talk about your experiences, including what is and what isn’t working for you.
If you and your spouse struggle to communicate, swinging will just push you further apart instead of bringing you together. Therefore, I recommend seeking professional marriage counseling to help you work through your problems. Only try swinging when your relationship is in a good place.
Swinging Can Turn Into Feelings
Leapfrogging off the last section, if your marriage isn’t doing so hot, you are more likely to fall for one of your swinging partners.
Most swingers enter into the swinging lifestyle because they have a secure relationship with their spouse, and they are looking for a way to explore their sexual interests together. Typically, these couples are looking for sex and friendships, nothing more.
However, if things aren’t going well, you may begin to develop feelings for your swinging partners because they satisfy emotional and sexual needs your spouse doesn’t. This can make things confusing and can harm your relationship.
So, don’t enter into the swinger lifestyle if your relationship with your spouse isn’t rock solid, or else it may make things worse.
Swinging Can Make You a Social Outcast
While you may accept your swinger lifestyle, that doesn’t mean your friends, family, and co-workers will. Swinging can have negative repercussions on your social and professional life since it is seen as taboo by society at large.
Many people don’t understand swinging and think that it’s the same thing as cheating. So, once others find out that you participate in it, they may automatically view you as immoral and not want to associate with you anymore.
Even if your close friends understand swinging and are accepting of your sexual practices, they may accidentally expose your secret to people who aren’t. So, if you choose to tell your friends about your swinging lifestyle, you need to make sure that they can keep a secret, or else everyone will know your private business.
Even if you are really careful about who you tell, your secret may still get out. For example, you may inadvertently swing with a mutual friend who tells people you know about your behavior. Or, one of your co-workers may come across an online post where you are advertising as a swinger.
So, no matter how cautious you are, there is always the chance that you could be outed as a swinger, which can harm your social relationships.
Swinging Can Push Boundaries (in a Bad Way)
If you’re ready to give swinging a go, you need to be mentally prepared about pushing more boundaries in your relationship.
After you agree to try swinging, you and your partner have to establish boundaries. While this may sound straightforward, many partners find that their limitations do not align, which causes conflict in their relationships.
For example, you may think that it’s ok for you to have sex with another person, possibly while playing swinger party games, even if your partner isn’t directly involved. However, your partner may only be ok with swinging as long as you are together throughout the entire party.
If you can’t agree on boundaries, it can harm your relationship and lead to one or both of you feeling disrespected, especially if your partner oversteps your limits during a swing party.
So, if you can’t agree on ground rules, it may be better to avoid swinging altogether since someone is definitely going to get hurt.
Can Swinging Be Beneficial?
Swinging can be beneficial (and healthy) for some people and not so great for others. It really depends on your relationship. Below, we will discuss some scenarios in which swing lifestyles may be beneficial for your marriage.
You Feel Stifled by Societal Constraints
If you and your partner feel stifled by traditional monogamy and want to explore new sexual avenues that’ll permit you to fulfill your sexual desires, then swinging may be a perfect choice. You can choose to sleep with whoever you like whenever you like. For some, the ability to sleep with different people strengthens their monogamous relationship.
You and Your Partner Have Different Sexual Interests
If you enjoy sexual activities that your spouse isn’t into, swinging can be a way for both of your sexual needs to be fulfilled without putting pressure on each other.
For example, suppose your spouse is really into anal play, but you don’t like it very much. In that case, you can find other swingers who are interested in butt stuff to satisfy that need for your partner, leaving you both feeling happier and more sexually satisfied.
You Are Bi-Curious
Swinging may also be beneficial if you’re bi-curious and would like to explore your bisexual interests with other swingers. Since swinging is often performed with couples, you can experiment with male and female partners to fulfill all of your sexual fantasies.
You Think That Swinging Will Deepen Your Emotional Connection
For some, swinging is a great way to let go of your physical hold over your partner. By allowing your spouse to explore their sexuality with others, you release your feelings of ownership and control over them.
Letting go physically can deepen your emotional connection since you release your feelings of fear. This permits you to emotionally connect with your partner on a deeper level without your relationship being tainted by power or control.
Watching Your Spouse Have Sex Turns You On
If you love watching your spouse kiss, touch, and do the deed with other people, then swinging can be a huge turn-on and may even make you feel even more sexually attracted to your partner. That doesn’t mean your spouse will like it. So, the both of you need to sit down and discuss it for a more enjoyable experience.
So, is swinging bad? The answer is: it depends.
Overall, swinging can be a great way to connect with your partner and deepen your relationship. It can also make you both feel happier and more sexually fulfilled.
However, swinging isn’t suitable for everyone. Make sure you evaluate the risks above to determine if swinging is worth it for your relationship. You should only try swinging if it will enhance your relationship, not if it will harm it.