Have you ever been totally uninhibited in the bedroom, acting on pure instinct and raw emotions? For some people, the idea of being completely overcome by physical feelings is a little scary. However, for others, getting animalistic in bed is a turn-on.
In this article, I’ll take a close look into primal kink and the kinds of kinky primal play you can enjoy. I’ll also walk you through why you might be into primal fetish and ways you can incorporate this kink into your sex life. Let’s dive in!
What Is Primal Kink?
Primal kink is a subset of BDSM that encourages sex free of societal expectations and norms. Participants act on instinct, sometimes acting like animals and engaging in rough sex. Unlike “pet play,” primal kink focuses on wild animals and their mating habits instead of ownership.
Some people who like primal play have a particular animal they relate to in the bedroom, like a wolf, bear, or big cat. But not everyone has an “inner animal.” Others like to think of themselves as primitive human hunters. It all depends on what you’re comfortable with and what helps you feel most uninhibited.
Different Types of Primal Play
Because primal play is all about being free from boundaries and rules, it looks a little different for everyone. I’ve listed some of the most common elements of primal play below, but how you perform primal play is ultimately up to you and your partner.
As with any BDSM scene, make sure to communicate with your partner before you start. Remember to keep things safe, sane, and consensual so you and your partner can both enjoy the primal headspace. Letting go and acting primal should be a freeing, pleasurable experience for everyone involved.
Hunter and Prey Roleplay
One of the most popular aspects of primal kink is hunter-prey roleplay. One party, usually the Dominant of a relationship, is the hunter, while the other is the prey. The hunter chases the prey before engaging in sexual activity. When caught, the prey might resist, leading the hunter to force the prey into submission.
If that sounds a little scary, don’t worry. The hunter and prey both know that it’s a game and that the scene is a safe place where they can experiment with rough foreplay, roleplay, and animalistic behaviors.
Fighting for Dominance
If both parties are Dominants (or if one is a particularly feisty Submissive), they might engage in primal kink by fighting for dominance. The pair may not decide who is “topping” in a scene until after they’ve fought.
A fight for dominance can happen in the form of wrestling, biting, scratching, growling, and other animalistic acts. The fight is usually closely tied to foreplay and may occur while making out or even while having sex.
Mating Ritual Roleplay
During primal play, people who closely relate to certain animals may choose to act out mating rituals with their partners. They might sniff, lick, and bite their partner. They may prowl around on all fours before nuzzling their partner and initiating physical contact.
Primal roleplay is all about following your instincts. Sometimes the results will be rough and possessive sex, but other times, it could be silly and fun. The important part is that all parties involved act uninhibited and enjoy themselves in the process.
Why You Like Primal Kink
Does primal kink seem appealing to you? You’re not alone. There are many reasons you might want to engage in some uninhibited, wild sex. I’ve listed three of the most popular reasons below.
You Want To Let Go
There’s a chance the biggest appeal of primal kink is the ability to be totally free with yourself, your partner, and your sexuality. If you want to do something in a primal scene, you simply do it. There are no societal rules to tell you what’s “normal.” You just do what feels right.
It’s easy to feel stifled by rules and expectations in your everyday life. The pressure to perform a certain way can be overwhelming, and primal play is one way to find release. A primal scene with your partner is an opportunity to act on your instincts, be loud, and get wild.
Your primal headspace can be totally separate from your regular life. Like most aspects of BDSM, primal kink is a chance to explore feelings and impulses you don’t normally indulge in.
Being in the primal headspace is a chance to give in to all of the base instincts you ignore during your everyday life. Going primal is a break from your normal state of mind, and it’s based on pleasure and trust in your partner.
You Like the Chase
Hunter and prey roleplay is all about the chase. And unlike “the chase” on the dating scene, this chase has no mind games and no hidden expectations. It’s a literal chase – you and your partner will be running through the bedroom (or living room or outdoors) before you have some fun, primal sex.
If you like the idea of roleplaying as prey, you probably want to feel desired. You want to feel so attractive and valuable that your partner will literally come running to get you. You ultimately want to get caught, but you want your partner to put in some work first.
And if you consider yourself more of a hunter, you like making your partner feel special. You want them to know that you’ll do anything to get them. Roleplaying as a hunter can give you a sense of power, which can be especially fun if your everyday life leaves you feeling a little powerless.
You Like It Rough
Primal play isn’t all about hunter-prey roleplay. For some primal fetishists, both parties adopt a dominant persona, leading them to fight for dominance before or during sex. This can look like wrestling, biting, scratching, or other forms of impact play and bondage.
A little bit of pain can be very pleasurable. For people who are into sadomasochism, primal kink is just one way they incorporate pain in the bedroom.
However, unlike some other forms of BDSM, inflicting or receiving pain isn’t usually “the point” of primal play. Primal play is about intense emotions and sensations, and biting or scratching is a byproduct of those strong feelings.
Best Ways To Get Primal
Ready to try incorporating primal kink into your relationship? Here are some ideas for how to start getting primal with your partner.
Go Back to the Basics
Sex toys are great, but when was the last time you and your partner had sex without any outside help? When were you so turned on and excited that you didn’t even make it to the bed?
Some people use primal kink to get in touch with their “inner caveman” instead of an animal. To heighten these primitive feelings, try turning off the lights and lighting a candle.
Plan to have sex on the floor, somewhere where you have the freedom to move around without fear of breaking anything. Try to have sex without using toys, and focus on the feeling of your bodies together.
If you live somewhere with access to the outdoors and lots of tree coverage, try having some outdoor sex! The outdoors is perfect if you want to try some hunter-prey roleplay because you have plenty of room for the chase.
Nervous about getting caught? I have an article full of tips for having sex in the woods. Stick to areas with lots of tree coverage, and try to have sex in positions that offer a good view of your surroundings.
Roleplaying is a huge part of primal kink, and there are several kinds of roleplay you might engage in. Talk to your partner about what roleplay interests you, and the two of you can try out a scene together.
Here are some ideas of places to start:
- One of you is a hungry predator animal, like a lion. The other is a prey animal on the run.
- You’re two prehistoric humans overcome with a desire for one another.
- Both of you are wolves fighting to be the alpha of your pack. The winner will get to be completely in charge of the rest of the scene.
- You’re an animal in heat, but you need your prospective mate to prove that he’s worthy of you first.
The only limits to your roleplay are your imagination and your personal boundaries. Experiment with different scenes and power dynamics to find what you and your partner like best!
Make Some Noise
Some people are very shy about the noises they make in the bedroom. But primal kink pushes you to overcome that shyness and to make the noises you want, regardless of whether anyone thinks they’re silly.
One simple way to incorporate primal play into your sex life is by getting more vocal in bed. You might find that certain animal sounds come easily to you, like growling, howling, or keening. Make the noises that feel right to you, even if they might be embarrassing. In primal kink, there’s never anything to be ashamed of.
You can still enjoy primal play even if you’re not comfortable with full-on roleplay. There are several elements of BDSM that overlap with primal kink, including hair-pulling, biting, scratching, wrestling, and impact play.
When you’re having primal sex, you’re fueled by intense emotions. Sometimes that intensity leads to the sex getting rough or even painful. Just make sure you and your partner are both into that before you start trying it in the bedroom.
Aftercare is a huge part of the BDSM experience, and primal kink is no different. You and your partner are bound to have intense feelings during a primal scene, and aftercare is your chance to process those emotions.
Snuggle with your partner after you’ve both cleaned up, and maybe enjoy a sensual massage. Talk about the scene, the things you liked, and what you felt. And make sure to discuss if any boundaries were crossed that you don’t want to cross again.
Primal kink is all about instinct and giving in to your base desires. If you feel overwhelmed by societal expectations, talk to your partner about incorporating some primal kink into your relationship. Some primal play could be just the thing you need to unwind and feel free.
Like all forms of BDSM, primal kink requires communication and trust before you start a scene. When you establish boundaries with your partner before you begin playing together, both of you are more likely to have a good time.
So what are you waiting for? Unleash your inner animal and get primal!